Looking for truth...

As my grandmother (Mama) always said: Angel face - devil ways...

Where do I stand?

Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me!

I sit here and think about everything that happened this past week and not a single tear runs down my cheek. Maybe it’s because I'm too hurt to cry, or maybe I'm just too mad at you. Maybe just maybe it’s my hearts way of telling me this isn't over yet. What do you do when the only person who can stop your tears is the one making you cry? I'd like to think I'll be happy again, but I really need to just stop and cry now, and sometimes I wish I could just scream at you, and show you what you did to me. And even though you lied, and even though you pretended to care I can't seem to get you out of my mind and even though it seems like I should be over you, with every tear that falls, it reminds me of how much I am still in love with you.

You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes? Sad isn't it? How no matter what you do or say to me... when you come running back... when you need me again... I'll be here... right here waiting for you; I'll take you back... no questions asked. Sad isn't it?

So... from now on... when you think of me... just remember that I could've been the best thing you ever had. You hurt me more then I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more then you deserve, why am I such a fool? You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said 'nothing', when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself... 'Everything is'. I don't know which I would rather believe... that you never did care or that you eventually stopped. While I was holding on all you did was let go.

I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have. There were reasons we met, reasons for the good times and reasons for the bad times, and most importantly a reason to end. We have more to learn, more to experience and more loving to do in this lifetime.

Somehow I know we'll meet again, not quite sure where and not sure when, you're in my heart so until then good-bye.

I've been lying here all night, listening to the rain. Talking to my heart and trying to explain. Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been. Yes I do think about you, every now and then. I didn't ask for it to be over, but then again, I didn't ask for it to begin. For that's the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most beautiful days eventually have their sunsets.

It's really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don't want to let go but it’s even more painful to ask someone to stay if they never wanted to stay.

In love you find the oddest combinations; materialistic people find themselves in love with idealists; clingers fall in love with players; homebodies capture and try to smother butterflies. If it wasn't so serious we could laugh at it.

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mending whole was good as new. What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best; than mend it and see the broken places. Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

After a while, you learn the difference between holding a hand, and falling in love. You'll learn kisses don't always mean something. Promises can be broken just as easily as they were made, and as hard as it is to believe, sometimes goodbyes are forever. Life doesn't hurt until you have time to yourself to think about how things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it is your fault. If you don't love me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best.

Make me stay. Say something sweet and tender and untrue and make me stay. The hardest thing about knowing you don't love me is that you spent so much time pretending that you did. Sometimes - no matter how long or how much you love someone, they will never love you back and somehow you have to learn to be okay with that. If you’re gonna make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears. How could you make me love you and then not be there to love me back?

Have you ever hated somebody so much that you wish they would just leave and never come back but yet, loved them so much, you knew you'd die if they did?

I've been through this pain before I've even cried these tears before but to get you back, I'd go through so much more. I'm going to smile like nothings wrong, talk like everything’s perfect, act like it’s just a dream and pretend that it's not hurting me.

The truth of the matter is, I still have feelings for you. And no matter how many times I tell myself that I'm better off without you, a part of me just won't let go. I know I made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, but the worst one was thinking the person who hurt me the most wouldn't hurt me again.

I feel like I am sitting in a room full of people that I love, and you know what, they just don't care that I love them. They don't care whether or not I live or die. To them I'm just another stranger. To me, they are my best friends, the only people I have left. It seems to me that the harder I try the harder I fall. Ever notice that the people who hurt you the most are the ones you tend to love more. It's funny the way you can get used to the tears and the pain.

No more crying, I can't cry anymore. Don't take my hand this time. Just go please and don't look back, because I know if you did, I'd come running back to you and I can't do that. I'm glad you're happy. I can't say that I'm completely happy for you but I guess that's just a part of life, I'll always have feelings for you but the rest of the world is forcing me to move on. I would rather leave now still loving you than to leave later hating you. I hate the way I could never hate you. I want to cry, I really do, but I guess I just don't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing that you hurt me once again. I remember when I still believed the things you said. It hurts to see someone you love ignoring you, it also hurts to see that they don't feel your love. But it hurts even more to know that they love you too, and just don't want you to know. Love is when someone hurts you, and you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.

I'd rather be your lover then your friend, but I'd rather be your friend than your nobody. I've convinced everyone else that I don't like you and that I don't love you anymore. Now all I need to do is convince myself.

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find their own happiness without expecting them to come back. I know you never meant to do everything you put me through its okay I forgive you. I never regretted telling you I liked you, I only regretted never hearing what you really thought of me.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you. I never stopped loving you. Even when I was acting crazy, I loved you. I've tried to show you in a million ways but nothing ever got through. Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is, I LOVE YOU. I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I love what you look like when you are asleep, I love the sound of your laugh, to hear your voice fills my entire heart with an indescribable feeling. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I love how when you touch me I get weak, which is my problem...

But the thing that I want you to see the most is that I survived without you. I'm the one you're meant for and you're going to come back to me. So sure, break up with me now, but I'm telling you, you'll be back. You'll be back when you realize that you broke up with the one who was meant to be with you. But see, the thing is, you just better hope I'm still there. I have been thinking a lot about growing up, and all of the relationships and broken hearts we go through. I always wonder how many times I said "I love you" to someone and knew I didn’t mean it. It makes me think about all of the people that have said they love me and didn’t mean it as well, and I get really pissed off, because I hate when people lie. I mean, if they were lying to get in my pants, that is one thing, but just for the sake of dragging this heart through the mud. I don’t think anyone has ever used me for my body, and that really, really hurts. It really does. I want to be a booty call.

Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Don't stay because you think "it will get better". You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. You cannot change behavior. Change comes from within. Relationships are very simple. There are only two things that can happen. You either get married or your break up. Life is for having fun. Don't be stupid and waste it on some guy/girl who is gonna act like he/she hates you tomorrow. Never waste it on some one who doesn't want their friends to know they're in love with you. Don't give that person the rest of you tears or a month or a year of your life when he/she treats you badly and doesn't mind to make you cry. Every person deserves some one who wants to brag about them. Every person deserves some one who makes them smile and laugh at their worst moments. We all deserve at least that.

Why do we fall for someone, who really isn't for us? Should we blame ourselves for falling the wrong one? Or... should we blame the one we fell for, because... they made us believe that they are the right one for us?! Sometimes things can seem so perfect, and then in a split second. It all comes and blows back up in your face, making you remember, that nothing ever works out for you. Something always messes up your "perfect thing".

There will always be faces you can never look at without emotion and there are names you can never hear spoken without that same old feelings returning. Just when you think you can move on, you'll remember all the reasons why you held on so long. Why do I waste my time? Why is it that you're so damn irreplaceable?

Don't wanna do it today there’s a part of me that wishes I could just forget But I haven't found the mercy yet. I'll forgive you tomorrow if the sun doesn't shine Let you back into my life when the oceans are dry. Take you back when every shade of the rainbow turns gray; but I just can't do it today --- Gary Allan

There's nothing scarier then getting what you want, cause that's when you really have something to lose. Maybe sometimes you just have to say what's in your heart, not just what you think someone wants to hear. Learn from your past, move on, and grow stronger. People are fake, but let your trust last longer. Do what you got to do, but always stay true, and never let anyone get the best of you.

I want to be the one - I want to be the person that touches your heart and makes it skip a beat - I want to be that person whose arms make you just melt - I want to be the person that your destined to be with.

You are unmistakably my first love. Every girl I am with for the rest of my life will be compared to you.

She's smiling... but she doesn't mean it. She misses how they used to be... she misses how it was so real how they cared for each other without end but most of all, she misses him always being there and telling her everything will be okay because she need's that now, more then ever. She's sick of feeling like something's missing. And these break up songs are making sense again And I really wish they didn't.

Poor fool - we all know - the end rarely justifies the means...