Bible Verse of the Day

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Hmph...


I sit here and think about everything that happened this past week and not a single tear runs down my cheek. Maybe it’s because I'm too hurt to cry, or maybe I'm just too mad at you. Maybe just maybe it’s my hearts way of telling me this isn't over yet. What do you do when the only person who can stop your tears is the one making you cry? I'd like to think I'll be happy again, but I really need to just stop and cry now, and sometimes I wish I could just scream at you, and show you what you did to me. And even though you lied, and even though you pretended to care I can't seem to get you out of my mind and even though it seems like I should be over you, with every tear that falls, it reminds me of how much I am still in love with you.

You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes? Sad isn't it? How no matter what you do or say to me... when you come running back... when you need me again... I'll be here... right here waiting for you; I'll take you back... no questions asked. Sad isn't it?

So... from now on... when you think of me... just remember that I could've been the best thing you ever had. You hurt me more then I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more then you deserve, why am I such a fool? You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said 'nothing', when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself... 'Everything is'. I don't know which I would rather believe... that you never did care or that you eventually stopped. While I was holding on all you did was let go.

I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have. There were reasons we met, reasons for the good times and reasons for the bad times, and most importantly a reason to end. We have more to learn, more to experience and more loving to do in this lifetime.
Somehow I know we'll meet again, not quite sure where and not sure when, you're in my heart so until then good-bye.

I've been lying here all night, listening to the rain. Talking to my heart and trying to explain. Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been. Yes I do think about you, every now and then. I didn't ask for it to be over, but then again, I didn't ask for it to begin. For that's the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most beautiful days eventually have their sunsets.

It's really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don't want to let go but it’s even more painful to ask someone to stay if they never wanted to stay.
In love you find the oddest combinations; materialistic people find themselves in love with idealists; clingers fall in love with players; homebodies capture and try to smother butterflies. If it wasn't so serious we could laugh at it.

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mending whole was good as new. What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best; than mend it and see the broken places. Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

After a while, you learn the difference between holding a hand, and falling in love. You'll learn kisses don't always mean something. Promises can be broken just as easily as they were made, and as hard as it is to believe, sometimes goodbyes are forever. Life doesn't hurt until you have time to yourself to think about how things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it is your fault. If you don't love me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best.

Make me stay. Say something sweet and tender and untrue and make me stay. The hardest thing about knowing you don't love me is that you spent so much time pretending that you did. Sometimes - no matter how long or how much you love someone, they will never love you back and somehow you have to learn to be okay with that. If you’re gonna make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears. How could you make me love you and then not be there to love me back?