Dear XXXXXX, my darling Babykin,
I have tried; you have to believe me, in all manner of ways I have tried… God, help me, I have tried…
I fully understand and accept your reasons and decision to set in abeyance (not write-off) our love as a complication too painful to bear under your current circumstances; yet for the life of me, I cannot let go of you, and I don’t think, ever.
Yours is the face I see as I close my eyes, and the visage remains in my mind until I awake. I am helpless to prevent its course. Fortunately; it’s a pleasant presence and not obsessive or addictive; just so constant! (Although I caught myself envisioning you reading at my side last night, while I was busy catching up my email on the computer. The overwhelming love I felt as our eyes met….)
I thought, perhaps, if I wrote it all down I could come to terms with our parting. Alas, it backfired, and only served to impact my subconscious resolve, which has now resulted in my having to ‘confront’ and appraise you of my stance…
I, Stafford Samuel Lakay, hereby pledge, before and with the help of God, to love, honour, cherish, serve and obey XXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX for rest of my life here on Earth. And should the Lord see fit to take me with Him into Eternity, I extend this pledge to that glorious abode as well; where I am convinced she already holds place.
This pledge requires absolutely no commitment or action from you; your knowledge of its existence is enough. Its very essence is timeless and therefore its expiry null. The only hook it attaches to you, and insists upon is this that you contact me the split second your heart, circumstances and realisation have aligned to make it possible for us to be together again. I fervently pray it’s not in the Hereafter though!
The singular reproach I hold against you is the longing I nurture for that spirit of abundant kindness, love and interest you exhibit so selflessly. That infectious giggle and teasing nature I relived for a brief while.
I have not lost my capacity to love others, but rather miss the special joy you bring therein. A consequence of this absence prevails on me to further troth, with the blessing of God our Father; that I shall not extend my romantic love to another; and will remain faithfully yours until you return to me…
Please kind, gentle XXXXXX do not allow my oath to obligate or guilt you in any way whatsoever; rather embrace it as an unlimited warranty that you possess on something precious that I know and feel you still hold dear, and would if you could act upon. Under this guarantee I am perfectly patient and peacefully content to wait, completely trusting in your wisdom and God’s guidance in your and my lives ahead.
Stafford ~ your Sammybear
I pray for the day when all the XXXXXXX's may be replaced, in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour