Enough of the fighting, crying and struggling to hold on and, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
You realise that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and in the real world there aren’t always fairy-tale endings (or beginnings, for that matter!) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you, and in the process, a sense of SERENITY IS BORNE OF ACCEPTANCE...
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that is perfectly OK! They are entitled to their own views and opinions and you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process, a sense of newly found confidence is born of self approval.
You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did (or didn’t do) to or for you and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you… and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace and CONTENTMENT IS BORNE OF FORGIVENESS...
Realise that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche and begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, where you should live, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, how you should behave in any given situation, how you should raise your children, what you owe your parents - very much everything people expect of YOU...
Learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view; and begin reassessing and defining who you are and what you really stand for.
Learn the difference between wanting and needing, and start to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process, learn to go with your instincts.
Learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing, and stop manoeuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.
Learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
Learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing - it annoys the pig and wastes your time.
Learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries… and learning to say “NO!”
Learn that the only cross you bear is the one you choose to carry… and martyrs get burned at the stake.
And then, LEARN ABOUT LOVE - romantic love and familial love.
How to love unconditionally, yet how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.
Learn not to project your needs or feelings into a relationship.
Learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.
Learn to look at relationships as they really are, what they offer in the here and now, and not as “they” would have them be, just because history determines that they relive themselves and haunt you forever.
Stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
Learn that just as people grow and change - so it is with love - learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy
Learn that alone does not mean lonely…
Stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
Learn that feelings of entitlement are OK - and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want, and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
Come to the realisation that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and RESPECT and don't settle for anything less - and allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch, and in the process internalise the meaning of self respect - learn that your body really is a temple.
Learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest.
Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul, so take more time to laugh and play; and learn that, for the most part, in life, you get what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for… and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline and perseverance - and VERY IMPORTANT TOO - LEARN THAT NO ONE CAN DO IT ALONE AND THAT IT'S OK TO RISK ASKING FOR HELP...
Learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time - fear itself!
Learn to step right into and through all your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it… and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on YOUR terms.
And so, learn to fight for your life and not squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
Learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting good people.
On these occasions learn not to personalise things and accept that GOD isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers… IT'S JUST LIFE HAPPENING...
Learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.
Learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate and/or destroy you and drain the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
Learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
Learn to be thankful and to take comfort in the abundance of life’s simple things that we so easily take for granted.
Begin to take responsibility for yourself… by yourself, and try to make yourself a promise - to never betray yourself and never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. Make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to be open to every wonderful possibility that touches your life each and every day.
Finally, with courage in your heart, take a brave stand in FAITH - take a deep breath and begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can… and conclusively realise, that LOVE, and only LOVE, is the greatest designer of the tomorrows YOU desire… - learn that only LOVE is the path to Eternal Life and Happiness.
LEARN TO TRUST IN GOD AND HIS PROMISES AND ALLOW HIM TO BE YOUR HELP AND STRENGTH - and all the above is bequeathed unto you - Hallelujah!!!!!!