Bible Verse of the Day

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Distractions for the bored...




Sound familiar?

Research shows that those at the cutting edge who find themselves between a rock and a hard place after someone has moved the goalposts should not give a knee jerk reaction. Life's a bitch, but it's not a train smash and it's no use crying over spilt milk! They should park off, remember that it ain't over till the fat lady sings and that in actual point of fact, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. At this particular moment in time, it's a new ball game... a whole new can of worms; they've got to put people on the ground at grass roots level, begin by leveling out the playing fields and see who comes to the party. The bottom line is, if they give it their best shot and don't drop the ball, they'll find themselves on a roll and soon be flavour of the month. Then they can say, "Been there, done that, sent the postcard, bought the T-shirt.




 On medical grounds

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1995.
The patient was released without dressing.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient has no history of suicides.
The patient was in his usual good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
The patient ate a little jelly and vomited a trifle.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.



 A contrary language

We'll begin with box and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes.
Then one is a goose, and two are called geese, yet the plural of mouse is never called meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole nest of mice, but the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I ask for a foot and you show me your feet, and I give you the boot, would two be my beet?
If one is a tooth and a set my teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that and three would be those, but the plural of cat is cats and not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother we never say methren.
Masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine... she, shis and shim.
So English, I fancy you all will agree is the funniest language you ever did see!




Have a beautiful day! Love ~SB