From Boy Psychology to Man Psychology

A man who 'cannot get it together' is a man who has probably not had the opportunity to undergo ritual initiation into the deep structures of manhood - no one has led him into direct and healing experiences of the inner world of the masculine potentials.

Ritual initiation of boys into the mysterious world of male responsibility and masculine spirituality, in its intended true form and spirit, is non-existent in our modern culture - authentic ritual initiatory process still survives in tribal cultures in certain parts of Africa, South America, islands of the South Pacific and a few other places.

All of us, at some level, attempt to move from a lower form of experience and consciousness to a higher, deeper identity. We seek initiation into adulthood, adult responsibilities, joys, rights and spirituality. (Arguably rules out half the people I know)

Tribal societies had highly specific ideals about gaining adulthood (both masculine and feminine); and its path followed ritual processes to enable their children to achieve what we would call calm, secure maturity.

Today our culture employs pseudo-rituals/initiation (especially for men) as a replacement - found in: military conscription, gangs of our cities, prison systems (by and large run by gangs), student hazing/pledging, etc.

These, it would seem, initiate the boy into a kind of masculinity that is skewed, stunted and false; a patriarchal 'manhood' - abusive of others and often of self. (Requirements may involve rape, murder, abuse of drugs, mainstream anti-social behaviour, etc) A boy psychology producing a flawed adolescent possessing adult 'rights' within that culture.

These pseudo-initiations do not produce men, because real men are not wantonly violent or hostile. Man psychology is nurturing; not destructive; and to come into being for any man, there needs to be a death - symbolic, psychological or spiritual.

Pseudo-initiation, though placing curbs on the boy, often boosts the Ego's envious nature and lust for power and control in a new form - an adolescent form regulated by adolescents; as opposed to submission to the power of the mature masculine energies that bring forth calm, compassion, clarity of vision and generativity.

Authentic ritual process is contained by two main things - a sacred place or space and a ritual elder. (A 'wise man' or a 'wise woman' who is trustworthy and can lead and deliver the initiate to the other side - intact and enhanced)

The sacred space should be sealed from the influence of the outside world, especially for boys, from the influence of women. The initiates are put through terrifying emotional and painful physical trials. They are taught all the secret wisdom of men and are only allowed to leave the place once they have successfully completed the ordeals and been reborn as men into adulthood.

With a scarcity in our culture of mature men, it follows that ritual elders are few and far between - a crisis exists in mature masculinity, the lack of adequate role-models of mature men and the lack of societal cohesion and institutional structures for rebirthing the authentic ritual process - accordingly pseudo-initiations remain skewed toward the reinforcement of Boy psychology with no idea what it was that was the goal of our gender-drive.

We just know we are anxious, feeling impotent, helpless, frustrated, put-down, unloved, unappreciated, and often ashamed of being masculine.
Our creativity is being attacked, our initiative met with hostility, we feel ignored and belittled, and our self-esteem deflated. We give in to the dog-eat-dog world, trying to keep our work and relationships afloat, bleeding energy and missing the mark...

Many seek the generative, affirming and empowering father who, for the most, never existed in their lives and sadly won't ever appear.

SO GUESS HOW WE ACT OUT...!