I look at her, and it's easy to see the pain in her eyes. It's as if her spirit has already left her. I find her staring into nothingness, and wonder what she is thinking. She smiles, but I can see through it. She feels alone, and thinks no one understands her....but I do.
She is a broken woman, wanting to let go of her demons so badly. Her unhappiness nauseates her, its chipping away at her every single minute of every single day. She wishes to break free and finally find reason to live. To wake each day with a smile across her lips - a REAL smile. She longs for happiness, but doesn't even know where to start, to find it.
All I want for her, is to face each day at peace with herself and her surroundings. She is a strong woman, and she may have forgotten that along the way, but I know in my heart she will be just fine. She may feel like she is grasping at the last threads of her sanity, but this is just a test. Her time will come. She will be happy again. I know this..."
It is a gut-wrenching, from the heart, distasteful and miserable pursuit (much like all worthy things we wish to accomplish) - the journey is a mission of grace. Baring your soul (to another or others) is probably the most uncomfortable experience you will ever have to put yourself through; yet there are people who have survived this ordeal while facing it in the worst of situations, with tremendous pressures and temptation around them to just give up - oh yes, our circumstances are our most formidable enemies, it's our primary excuse to place a condition on being able to liberate ourselves from the hold of abuse and its damage to our being... especially self-abuse that eventually afflicts, diseases and infects everybody who we have any contact with.
There are NO PERFECT AND COMFORTABLE CONDITIONS for facing our demons - just opportunity and self-comittment; and if you can't do it in an environment where the LOVE OF GOD shines through, then seriously, good luck to you wherever else you do...