Losing depression...

Recently a question was asked of me - has aging caused me to be depressed?

As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's, 60's and 70's. And if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach, albeit in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if  I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet-set. They, too, will age.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a disobedient child suffers? But broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect and gaining redemption.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive; you care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question - I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it...)

by my friend Magaret Lakay (edited)