In response to the 'You have too much time on your hands' - chirp

Laws of the Universe....

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begins to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool or tiny bit of hardware, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases, when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Travelling Law of Need: The need to pee in direct proportion to the distance to still be travelled to the next petrol station.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that something is not working, it will.

Law of Bio-Mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible, if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

The Law of intelligence: The difference between GENIUS and STUPIDITY is that genius has its limits.

Extended Law of physics: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, which can sometimes leave a scar.